Thursday, October 7, 2010

How Real is "Real"?

A strange thing happened the other day that got us thinking about what defines certain concepts in our society.

On our Facebook page; Justice For Heavenlee!!!, a comment was left which seemed to assert that we are not 'real family' just because Dane (our son-in-law) didn't marry Eugenia (Heavenlee's mother) before (or after) Heavenlee was born.

What an odd thought from a very odd point of view.

That got us to thinking what it means to be a 'real family' and as such, we thought we would offer our own assertions regarding 'real' and 'family'.

To begin, we thought about all those children who were orphaned, either by choice or by circumstances and then adopted. We wondered if they are considered 'family'?

And what about multi-marriage households where children from several different parents all live together under the same roof. Are they considered 'family'?

What about non-traditional households where same-sex couples raise a child? Is that considered 'family'?

Or what about households where two people live together unmarried and have for decades, producing children along the way? Are they considered 'family'?

Finally, how about when children leave the nest to make a life of their own? Are they then no longer considered 'family'?

And what about this idea of 'real'?

Is it possible to have a 'fake' family???

From our point of view, we have considered Heavenlee to be a part of our family since her birth. We remember well seeing her in the old trailor park days after she was born and knowing that her biological father, Dane (our son-in-law) was to marry our daughter.

From that moment on, we embraced Heavenlee as a member of our own family... and still feel that way to this very day.

We do not use the term 'step-child' or step-granddaughter' as we consider those terms to be both offensive and discriminatory.

Love knows no boundaries or lame sub-titles and so, we know our beloved granddaughter as just that, our beloved granddaughter.

It all comes down to the matter of Love.

For us, the capacity for Love and Family is not limited to biologial connections or whether or not a piece of paper binds one person to another.

We subscribe to that old Beatles song that stated; "All you need is Love!"

Love is all you need and we are dismayed at the lack of Love being shown by others who put forth an agenda which we cannot fathom.

As such, we will move forward and express our Love for our beloved granddaughter, Heavenlee at every opportunity. We know that Love will be returned to us ten-fold and we pray for those narrow-minded people who know only Hate and anger.

Someday, the dream of the Beatles will come to Life and Love will surround us all.

'Till then, we continue the fight for legislation which will insure our measure of Justice for Heavenlee!!!

God bless each and everyone who may be reading this.

James & Amanda Wallace

1 comment:

  1. Your post is quit thought provoking. So 'What constitutes a family'? My husband (may he rest in peace) and I considered that He, myself & our 2 little dogs to be a 'family'. My husband, being Scottish use to say: 'Aye, what braw wee family' referring to us. Then a little later when the weather turned warmer and more people were outside I met our next door neighbour and soon considered her to a member of the family. I also have a collection of 'old friends' whom I consider to be family members. So I would say and I'm sure my husband would agree if he were here that if all parties agree any group of animals, the human-animal and the non-human (and dogs, who I consider to be God's magnum opus are always willing to join a human-pack) can make up a family.

    Wishing you and all your family nothing but love & peace.